Rich in Vietnam or Rich in the USA
Vietnam brought me to a part of myself I didn't know even existed. So, that first day when I ate some random vegetables in Saigon , I cried tears of immense joy, it felt like I am home.
I have a lot to say about this photo:
So story time here it goes ......
Duality in every crack and beauty
I grew up in the USA, so for me there have been so many healing things and this picture reminded me of what I think about that is so "rich" here.
Vietnam in abundance has so many healing foods, all of these plentiful vegetables, fruits, fish, and amazing landscapes. When I arrived here I mean it, I was so filled with joy that it turned into tears and I had to show it less, because I knew people would misunderstand why I have tears, thinking that I am sad. But the truth is, the food was so so extremely healing for me that immediately I felt rooted. It was so extrememly powerful for me, and brought me to a part of myself I didn't know even existed. So, that first day when I ate some random vegetables in Saigon , I cried tears of immense joy, it felt like I am home. Almost three years now in Vietnam, and I overindulge in the foods. For some cultures, this means I am living a good life hahah , and I really struggle because for me, if I feel like this means I am more nourished, or taken care of … to the Vietnamese I am just very unhealthy or overweight. So, sometimes it feels like I win in one culture, and the other judges and vice versa. I mean ugh so much contrast to my life.
In the USA, I grew up in an agricultural area also, and we used to go to some farmer's markets, and my grandma had a garden too living in the countryside, and her neighbor exchanging corn or other things together. SO so extremely meaningful for the USA and rare to find nowadays. I find this simple thing has the most importance with people. So that they can feel connected to each other, useful, belonging, and nurturing through food- the root.
However, time passed and less of this small town type of agriculture was in abundance (from what I remember) and eventually the supermarket in my little town closed. Now what do we do? We drive 30 minutes about to go to a big chain grocery store. Can you believe that? And going to restaurants are expensive and more for something special. I know the American movies show that we have big fancy houses, and the standard is different, built different, different technology, different tools , different culture.. all spaced out houses, people sleeping individually in a room and more. So, maybe to outside of the USA this seems "rich" and I could see that too. But, also a lot of Americans as well, are using these big houses or apartments because thats the standard, and thats the option to live in, even if they don't actually have all of that money. So what do they do? They work, they work, and they have expensive rent. They have to cook all the time, for themself, thats expensive to buy for just one, but thats how American culture is in some ways. They earn a lot of money, but maybe have nothing to save. Little is left to use after the cost of living expenses: rent, food, groceries, car/transport, social: for such as drinks with friends, cafe chats, or eating out. Because the USA everyone has to work in this grind, expensive rent, individualistic way of life is the normal way... it makes it all that you must be 100% self sufficient, and maybe no one will help you, like how it is in Vietnam. To get myself the good education from my degree, I had to take out huge huge student loan debt, and it has held me down for so so long. Now, I recently had it paid and my life is in this standstill. I need to grow financially, but I feel so heavy from having to do everything alone for so so long. I am thankful to be in Vietnam, because I am never alone, but I feel like a burden. I try to let people help me , trust that I can, I grew up too American I feel that sometimes , not accepting help… but in Vietnam they have given me open arms, and if I trust it I have community all around me.
I think about all the knowledge, technology, the diversity , the cities, the inventions... but also I just might have different values on what works for my lifestyle.
What is rich to one person, one country, or one family is rich, and to others is poor or not even noticed for how meaningful your experience is.
So I wrote this, to share the dualities of America and Vietnam.
I know many of my Vietnamese friends will read this and wonder about the USA, why I would actually live here for so so long and why Vietnam is my home.
I think I am thankful for both, I learnt so much knowledge in my upbringing in America, but I lacked community or belonging, simple fresh vegetables, cafe times with other people... Vietnam you are so so special to me.
So maybe this can help both sides of me America and Vietnam see what I mean about both places.
I realized even after writing this I have more to say about both aspects from each country and more stories with it too. I have a podcast, so lets do it! I will record it sometime and post it, until then check out the other episodes.
Podcast
I love you Vietnam, I love you USA, I love my home, I love these imperfections, and am growing to love all the cracks and beauty of life that I live, to be able to have such a variety of who I am.